I don't get why she can't be a mom. I could be the president and she wouldn't even care. I thought a mom was supposed to be there for there children whenever no matter what it is. It's irratating knowing that I can't call her and just talk to her about my day and how shitty it was. I don't even know who to blame me or her. I know I have messed up and I have made a lot of mistakes but i'm not perfect and thats what she wants me to be. She wont even talk to me unless it deals with something that can make her look like a bad mom. I just want to be loved and cared about by my mom, and she wont. It hurts because I know when she is sick or in trouble I will be the one taking care of her. The other kids wont, they will be to busy with themselves to even think twice to help her. I am trying my hardest to be understanding and just thinking that she is going through a hard time and she wants to be left alone.
People tell me all the time that when I get older we will grow closer but I just tell them that it has been almost 8 years now and its not going to get better. I refuse to give up on my mom, and no matter what she does I will always keep trying to be bettter just for her. Just so she can see that I wasn't a mistake, and that I am a good person. I will keep trying no matter what she does because I am not the kind of person just to give up. Its been almost 8 years and I haven't given up yet why would I start?
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